Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting ‘The 2016 Funniest Joke at the Fringe’

You can either thank Dave or blame Dave for the fact that we are now in possession of the ‘2016 Funniest Joke at the Fringe’! The UKTV channel enlisted the help of the country’s foremost comedy critics. Each of the judges watched an average of 60 different comedy performances in Edinburgh this year and sifted through more than 3,600 minutes of pure witty banter. This meant they each had a potential pool of around 7,200 different jokes to choose from. The short list of gags were then put to 2,000 Brits, with no reference to the comedians who told them, who then voted for the jokes they found the funniest.


This year’s winner comes from Masai Graham, a West Bromwich-based care worker, who graciously accepted his award by giving credit to the competition that inspired him to become a comic and enter, “I’m proud and honored to win Joke of the Fringe. The funny thing is that it was Dave’s Joke of The Fringe that inspired me to become a comic. I remember picking up the paper years ago, reading the top ten gags and wondering if I could write a decent one myself, so it feels fantastic to have actually won!”. With customary British humility, Graham told the Guardian that he doesn’t think it’s his best joke, and that “…only the clean material gets on the list”.

Just in case you are wondering about the runners-up that Graham beat out for this year’s prize. FYI, there are a few that are more ‘groan-worthy’ than funny but, then again, I wasn’t asked to judge.

Dave’s Top 15 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2016

  • “My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card.  He’s a man after my own heart.” – Masai Graham
  • “Why is it old people say ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one…” – Stuart Mitchell
  • “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” – Mark Watson
  • “Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” – Mark Smith
  • “I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second.” – Will Duggan
  • “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” – Tiff Stevenson
  • “I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.” – Gary Delaney
  • “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” –Adele Cliff
  • “Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” – Annie McGrath
  • “Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” –Jordan Brookes
  • “Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first.” – Michelle Wolf
  • “I spotted a marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound.” –Roger Swift
  • “Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.” –Arthur Smith
  • “I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses.” – Zoe Lyons
  • “Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word.” – Phil Nicol

In: Comedy